Well I have a few new updates on Jeremiah says....
At the mall to see Santa - standing in line.
Mama - Jeremiah do you know what you are going to tell Santa you want for Christmas?
Jeremiah - Yes, mama. I sure do.
Dada - Well, what are you going to tell him? (we are asking this because
literally everything he has seen on television he has asked for from a Honda Accords to Depends and we are wondering if we need to rethink this and possibly reserve an afternoon of Santa's time.)
Jeremiah - I am going to ask for ..... I don't know let me think.
FINALLY - we reach Santa and Jeremiah climbs on his lap. The photographer is telling him to smile and Jeremiah says "No, wait I can't smile I have to tell Santa what I want for Christmas. " Jeremiah then looks at Santa Claus and says, "I want a Buzz Lightyear with a remote control." Santa dutifully repeats this and nodds his head. They both then smile for the photo op and Jeremiah gets down and starts to walk away but then he turns back and looks at Santa and says, "I want a Buzz Lightyear with remote control .... and you BETTER bring it!" I don't know about you - but if I were Santa I would have been afraid not to bring it from the look on Jeremiah's face. I had visions of a big hairy man with brass knuckles - I think we'll rename him Vinnie.
Scenario - Jeremiah and I are at the doctor's office - his allergies seem to be acting up. There is a man coming out of the bathroom with a little cup (apparently there is a suspicion of a kidney infection.) Jeremiah looks at me and asks if that is pee-pee in that cup (loudly). I tell him to be quiet and try to get him in the room, of course this is not going to happen right now without me literally scooping him up and shoving him in the room. He looks at the man and as I push him in the room asks the man why he pee-peed in that cup and is he going to drink it. I finally get him in the room and get the door shut. We are sitting there waiting for Jermiah's good friend Dr. Larsen to come in and one of the nurses walks in to speak to me. She has that little cup in her hand and I am keeping an eye on Jeremiah to see if he is going to spout off something but he just eyeballs the cup. Finally the nurse leaves and my guard is down. Dr. Larsen walks in and Jeremiah see's the owner of little cup walking by and he yells loudly "Hey man - man that lady stole your pee-pee!"
Last but not least (on the embarassment scale)
I have a new cellphone and it was not working correctly after only one day. I returned to the store and was waiting to exchange it. When we had been in previously the store owner, Mr. Mahmoud, has struck up a friendship with Jeremiah. They had a great deal of fun together and enjoyed picking on each other a great deal. So we are sitting there waiting for the new phone to get setup and Mr. Mahmoud walks in with his lunch. He speaks to us and then prepares to go into the back of the store (apparently to eat his lunch in peace). Jeremiah watches him and just as he gets to the door Jeremiah loudly says "Abra cadabra" and waves an imaginary wand. Well, Mr. Mahmoud walks into the back room and Jeremiah looks at me and doesn't blink an eye as he says very loudly and clearly, "Man, I made his hairy butt disappear!" There are moments in time when everything seems to just stop and words just seem to hang in the air - this was one of them. I could feel my mouth dropping open and my hair falling out of my head. The salesman we were working with had to turn his back so we couldn't see him laughing - I could hear roars of laughter coming out of the back room and customers were covering their mouths with their hands. I (of course) was speechless - yes ladies and gentlemen it does happen. I finally said I had no idea where he would have heard that but it was probably at Mom's Morning Out - and here is where bad goes to worse. Jeremiah looks at me and says, "No mama, that's what you always say to Daddy when you are calling him - Avery you better get your hairy butt in here! You mean that nice don't you?" At that point I knew I was licked and there was no recovery .....